and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is the high leading the old right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
