There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
