She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
