Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
