My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
