I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
