She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
