The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
