I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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