the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
