White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
