when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
