yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
