Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
