great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
