There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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