rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
