after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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