I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
