garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
