dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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