I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
