You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so explain again why im purple
no
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
