Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
