Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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