Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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