Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
