I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
