he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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