Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
