he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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