Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
