I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
