you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
