he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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