the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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