real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
