Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he thought i was a dude.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
