Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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