y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
