it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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