College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
