I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You smell like stripper and shame
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
