I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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