Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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