apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
