you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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