Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
