Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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