On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
