What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
